How to Stop Feeling as Fake as a Zirconium Diamond (it’s as easy changing videos)

Kathy G Lynch
Motivate the Mind
Published in
7 min readAug 25, 2022

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What the 5 day life coach challenge taught me

difference between real or fake diamond
Photo by Hao Zhang on Unsplash

Do you feel like an imposter?

Do you feel as fake as a zirconium diamond?

Do you feel like you are worthless and that you don’t have anything of value to give to anyone?

If your answer to the above questions is ‘yes’ then you need to discover a fast and easy way to stop feeling like a fake diamond and start feeling life you are the real thing.

I’ll reveal the qualities that makes you like that real diamond in a minute …

The Cycle of Circumstances

but first let me tell you a story.

Most of us sometimes feel like we are a fake. Feel like we are an imposter. Feel like we are less valuable than everyone else.

The reason, according to Coach Matthew Boggs in the 5 Day life Coach Accelerator Challenge, is we are experiencing the “Cycle of Circumstances.” For we are hanging onto undesirable thoughts concerning life circumstances and experiences.

The truth is that our feelings of being inferior and unworthy are the result of the circumstances of reality. The reality of living as a small child in a grownup world, a world where everyone else was bigger, stronger, and more powerful than you are.

And those feelings often linger on in adulthood …

especially if our parents didn’t understand how to give us the proper nurturing that made us feel valuable.

Our Fake Diamond

So, we often spend our whole lives feeling bad about ourselves.

We feel insecure. Anxious. And not good enough.

For we really believe we are ‘less than’ and not genuine ‘fake’ zirconium diamond.

And we don’t realize that the true you is hidden, “buried beneath the rubble,” as Mark Morgan Ford would put it.

For the facts are that our life situations and circumstances have hidden our real value from us. Have hidden our truths in mistaken beliefs, false interpretations, and disempowering misperceptions.

Unhealthy Biases about Ourselves

In other words, we have developed unhealthy biases …

about ourselves.

Biases called “automatic thoughts.”

Automatic thoughts are those thoughts that appear in our mind as an immediate response to certain situations. They are often triggered by past experiences. Experiences in childhood that we may or may not remember.

Experiences that wounded us.

Experiences that left a scar cause by a disempowering thought.

And those thoughts create our feelings of not being good enough. Of not being enough. Of being less than.

Acting Out Our Feelings

Then those feelings create our behavior. We act out our feelings by doing things that aren’t productive. Things that are often counter-productive. Maybe even destructive.

Things like being angry at our parents. And defiantly refusing to listen to them. And rebelling authority figures.
After all, we are just “being who we think we are.”

For that is the automatic thought that drives what we feel and do.

So, we fail to realize who we really are.

And continue to live our lives believing we are that fake zirconium,

And that belief feeds more doubt, despair and even desperation about never having what we truly want in life.

Until …

Moment of Decision

One day the misery becomes too much for us.

And we become so overwhelmed by our feelings of unworthiness that we come to the point where it’s either give up completely.

Or …

Make a decision to change.

So you seek help. You do a little research. You may even check out the one of the free challenge events. Like the 5 Day Challenge at the Life Coach Community on Facebook.

And you discover life coach Matthew Boggs, who explains that “your mind thinks in images.” And that when you paint a picture of yourself living your dream, everything changes.

Your Vision of Who You Want to Be

It all depends on your vision, depends on who you think you are. For everything you feel, do, and have depend on the pictures you have in your mind.

So, instead of having the picture of yourself as an imposter, as a fake diamond, you can put in your mind the picture, the vision, of your inner real diamond and your true value.

And that vision, that thought of your real diamond, gives you clarity.

The Moment of Clarity

For a real valuable diamond exhibits clarity.

And as Boggs says, “clarity is power.”

Because a moment of clarity is that moment of opportunity to sing again, sing that old MacDonald’s farm song EIEIO — enough is enough, I’m over it. I’ve had enough insecurity, enough inferiority and oppression.

From now on everything I experience is an Opportunity …

An opportunity to believe that I am the real thing. That I am that real diamond.

Simply because you suddenly discover how fast and easy it is to change the images in your mind. It’s as fast and as easy as changing videos on your computer.

Seeing the Difference

It’s as fast and as easy as seeing the differences between the fake diamond and the real diamond. For the biggest difference is an inner fire in the real diamond.

And the inner fire …

Inside you.

For that is what makes you unique, valuable, and different.

Your uniqueness is the result of your inner fire, the flame inside that reveals your elegance. The flame inside the ignites your radiant emotions. The flame inside that reflects energy, effort, and Igniting enthusiasm.

Igniting Your Passions

With one quick change, with one fast change of the vision in your mind, the flame inside you is ignited and you are driven by your passions.

For in that split second, in that instantaneous moment of decision, you decide to change from being fake — and be who you really are.

In a moment of instant recognition, you see yourself as someone with a gift that lights you up inside. You become aware that it is your gift, your talent, your essence — who you really are — that makes you valuable in the world.

Discovering Your Uniqueness

In marketing terms, your gift is your USP… your unique selling proposition. It’s what makes you different from everyone else.

It’s your UVP — Your Unique Value Proposition. It’s what makes you valuable to your family and friends. And to the world.

When you discover the fire inside of you, when you uncover your passions, your hopes, your dreams …

Increased Self-worth

more worthy feelings are ignited in you.

You experience feelings of self-worth.

You also experience feelings and images of being relevant and effective envelop you.

And those feelings result in your engagement in those things that make you feel happy, secure, worthy, and filled with purpose.

For those feelings are reflected in everything you do.

Instead of drinking alcohol excessively, you settle for sparkling water. Instead of fighting with others, you speak softly with kindness. Instead of releasing your anger, you disagree without being disagreeable.

Getting the Results you Want

For you understand that, as Boggs says, “Every result begins with a thought.”

You see you have the power to choose better thoughts.

You see you have the power to believe in your real diamond.

You see you have the power to hold onto the vision of what makes you unique, hold onto the vision of what makes you different, hold onto the vision that makes you feel good enough.

Exercising Your Power

And you exercise that power.

You hang on tightly to your vision of your real value.

And you choose …

Choose to do the things that create the life you want. The life you deserve. The life that reflects the fire of that real diamond you are.

You picture yourself doing what you love to do.

You envision spending more time with your family. Doing work you love. Earning money by offering your unique gifts to the world. You even see yourself helping others see and become aware of how they can live their dreams.

The Picture of Success

You constantly paint a picture of success in your mind.

Your keep the picture of the most valuable diamond in the world, your Hope diamond … your brain … in your mind.

You see yourself passionately doing what you love. See yourself acting like that valuable person you really are. See yourself passionately living your dreams.

And every single day you live as if you are that valuable person you really are.

You deliberately and intentionally live your life on purpose

As author Neale Donald Walsch says, “The most valuable skill or talent that you could ever develop is that of directing your thoughts toward what you want.”

Your Inner Fire

Then your inner fire arouses the passion in those around you as your passion-driven actions put the world on fire.

The fire of inspiration. The fire of released imagination. The fire of ecstasy.

An ecstasy that is the result of your passionate eagerness to believe in, picture, and realize your dream; to envision the true value of your real diamond; to be who you really want to be.

So be that person you dream of being. Reveal the true you — your best self — to the world.

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Kathy G Lynch
Motivate the Mind

Kathy G. wants to show farmer's daughters how to become successful writers even in this highly competive world