Aug 5, 2020
Is Writers Block Really Just Fear Of Being Yourself?
Is Your Fear Stopping You?
Do you ever have a fear of running out of ideas to write about?
Do you ever suffer from the anxiety [KGL1] [KGL2] of having nothing to say?
Do you ever struggle with the stress of so much empty space in your word processor and not even being able to write the first sentence?
Is your fear stopping you from even being able to write the very first word?
Reading all the successful stories on Medium gave me the willies. I wondered, “How could I ever compete with such great writing?”
“How would I ever be able to find enough things to talk about? How would I ever be able to figure out what to say that could excite people like I felt when I read what was written by others?”
Throes Of Self-Doubt
So, for about a week or two, I was dazed and stymied. I had such strong feelings of doubt that I stopped writing. Again.
I didn’t know then that my writer’s block was really just another mental block of fear I was putting between myself and my consciousness. That writer’s block was just my fear of being myself.
Yet that block of fear, even then, didn’t stop me from reading other’s words.
So, between cleaning my assisted-living apartment for inspection and reading others’ great words, I really didn’t have time to actually write anyway.
(Or so I told myself.)
But that was really a lie. A big lie that covered up my fear …
The fear I kept denying.
Then I fell. Literally fell. I lost my balance and landed flat on my back. And everyone decided I should go to the emergency room and get checked out.
So, I ended up spending two nights in the hospital.
Facing Self-Sabotage Tendencies
Where I had plenty of time to actually think … think about what I was doing (and not doing) …
and why!
I had plenty of time to face my fear … or what I call “fantasy expectations appearing real.”
For I suddenly realized that it was just a fantasy (a sabotaging fantasy) that I wouldn’t be able to be as good as anyone else who is writing, whether on Medium or anywhere else.
For I’ve spent years learning to write. So I have more experience writing than many who are writing today.
And I love writing. Writing is a joy I cherish. It’s a passionate pursuit where I get to make discoveries.
Instead of just being a wannabe … I can actually be like Thomas Edison. I can do something excitiing when I face my situation head on.
I can discover the secrets of life … namely the secrets of my life …
just like you, too, can discover the secrets of your life.
You can discover secrets about yourself that you may have been hiding, deep inside of you.
And you can also see your life as an experiment.
Yes, even you, my dear friendly reader.
For it’s entirely possible that you may have as many secrets hidden inside of you as I have … things about yourself that you have covered up and hidden for years …
maybe even for decades.
Without even knowing … like me.
Black Magic … Or Truth
Because, until I started writing, I didn’t know I was engaged in the black magic of hiding myself. I hid my feelings and emotions deep within me …
to the point where I didn’t even know who I was anymore.
Much less what I thought.
Then one day, everything changed.
That was the day I started writing …
And discovered some very important truths.
Like the fact that I was just as much of an escape artist as my alcoholic husband.
And I didn’t have his excuse. For I wasn’t a veteran of the Vietnam war, like he was. Although I was a veteran of … family war.
Because my parents were constantly battling with each other. And I felt caught between them like a rabbit caught in a car’s light beam at night.
I kept hopping around aimlessly, lost and scared. And didn’t know where to turn … until
I found a safe rabbit hole to pop into.
My writing.
Of course, it took years of struggling and striving to put words on paper and screen, before I discovered many of the basic truths that I was hiding inside. TRUTHS like the real ugliness that haunts and sabotages you.
TRUTHS like the reason you tend to hide yourself.
TRUTHS like the thousands of reasons you tend to hate yourself…
And the real TRUTH … that there are unlimited truths … truths hiding just beyond your unconsciousness … truths about yourself that you can uncover …
Writing To fling Open The Door And Uncover and Discover
by simply writing down your thoughts.
For when you start writing, you begin treading the path of self-discovery. Because all those things you think about …
especially the things that are so scary
… are at the tip of your fingertips,
just waiting to be discovered. If you’re not too scared to look …
If you dare sneak a peak at all those SECRETS … stuff seldom eyed that create regrets, experiences that are totally stupid …
secrets just waiting for you to see them.
Secrets just waiting …
Waiting for you to understand them.
When you start writing, you fling open the door to your deepest self. It’s a door that may have been stuck for years.
The Push To Open The Door To Self
And at first that door might need a good strong push in order to open it.
And for me, the push was my marriage to an alcoholic. I felt so miserable and I didn’t know why.
I didn’t know why I couldn’t live with him and couldn’t live without him.
I didn’t know why I did anything until
… until I started writing.
Until I developed writing SYSTEMS where you Share Your Struggles to Transcend Emotional Memories of Suffering …
To heal both yourself and someone else.
For pushing the door to self open and sharing your story with someone else not only helps you …but helps others as well. Because someone, like your subscribers, get to experience moments through the eyes of your memories.
Others …
you dear reader …
get to see your situation through the eyes of my memories. You get to see through my pain, my hurt, my misery.
Just as you get to see your struggles through the eyes of someone who has managed those struggles … and survived.
And you don’t even have to suffer, like I did. You don’t have to go through the stress and strife I did.
And you sure don’t have to experience the mess I made of my life … don’t have to mop up the mess you made of your life, like I did.
Instead you get to learn by leaning in and listening … listening to someone who’s been through the emotional mayhem this world often dumps on innocent children …
Readers See Through Your Eyes The Mess
And causes them to become scared, confused adults who come to believe stupid things … and do even stupider things.
But, even though your worst mistake may only be that you broke up with your first boyfriend ( he actually broke up with you when he rejected you because you refused to marry him) …
your writing, your words, can get others to see their lives through your eyes of regret. See through your eyes the mess.
Your thoughts and ideas may even teach others to not mistake friendship with love.
Or to not write careless words to your best friend that you may regret later. Or to not let one mistake turn into a lifetime of wishing things had been different.
Not to spend a lifetime wishing you had been smarter, wiser and better.
Writers Who Understand Teach Understanding
Your written words can even help others feel grateful they didn’t make your mistakes, feel blessed they didn’t live your life …
And your words, the words you write, could be the catalyst that helps others understand that, but for God above, they too might have made the same mistakes.
As Hemingway once wrote: “All good books [and good writing] are alike in that … after you are finished reading one you will feel all that happened to you and afterwards it all belongs to you: the good and the bad, the ecstasy, the remorse and the sorrow, the people and the places and how the weather was. If you can get so that you can give that to people, then you are a writer.”
You are a writer … one who dares weave the revelations of inner thoughts and emotions into resources …
Resources that can be used to help you, as well as others, get over the feelings of hopelessness and loss that seem to never end.
Resources that can even further the consciousness of your fellow human beings and give a sense of well being to others, as well as to yourself.
Simply because … you made the decision to write. Thus, you uncovered your fear. You became a writer.
