Why It’s So Hard To Achieve My Goals (and What To Do About It)

Kathy G Lynch
6 min readJan 28, 2021
Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash

Have you ever planned on landing that big client, hoping hard it would happen?

Have you ever thought about how nice it would be to build a successful business of your own?

Have you ever dreamed of making big money, even longed deeply to become successful, become a best-selling author?

And you wonder why it’s so hard? Wonder why didn’t it happen? Wonder why haven’t I achieved my goals? Wonder why time goes by so fast and why I never seem to get where I want to go? Or get what I want to do done?

Stuck In The Gap

The truth is that you and most of the people you know are probably stuck in the GAP … the gap that exists because we’ve inherited our cave man ancestor’s character traits. For according to Shawn Lim, we are hard-WIRED to living life where “an immediate return environment” is desired. We want instant gratification, We want to eat when we are hungry, sleep when we are tired, and get what we want and need immediately, on short notice.

Yet we live in a world where everything is not given to us immediately. As Lim says in his e-book Reach Your Goals: How To Activate Your Goals and Achieve Them, “the problem is that what you want is in the future” and it may not even exist yet, or be available “at this current moment.”

Lim states the problem is that what you want is in your “imagination and the results that [you] want are in the future, not in the present moment. This will create a gap between your current reality and the future result that you want. And my friend, this gap is what makes your goals a reality or a failure.”

Delayed Return

For much of life is a DREAM-state, or what Lim calls a “delayed return environment” of expected manifestation., We work for a paycheck that we expect we will get later. We wait for others with the expectation that they will return our calls. We wait with anticipation for customers to want and need what we sell.

For, as Lim, the creator of stunningmotivation.com/, says, “Most of the choices and decisions you make today will not yield you the benefits and results you want immediately.”

So we live in that gigantic gap that exists between what we have and what we want, live in that huge gap filled with hopes and wishes, dreams and desires.

And we somehow have come to the conclusion that our hopes and wishes will magically come true. That our dreams and desires will miraculously manifest just because we want them to. Just because we wish for them.

When We’re Lost And Waiting …

So we keep waiting for it to happen. And because we don’t even see that we are in this gigantic GAP, this Giant Abyss in Perception, it is so easy to get lost in that huge empty space. Thus, we end up doing things to distract ourselves. We play solitaire on our computers. We eat too much. We spend hours watching cat and dog videos on our phone.

So we end up wasting the majority of our time. And don’t get much done.

For we don’t do the important things in our life. Instead, we do endless mind-numbing things … and never achieve our goals.

And often we fritter away our entire lives because we’re waiting. Waiting for our ‘big break.’ Waiting for ‘our time to come.’ And don’t even realize that we ourselves are own worst enemy. For we waste our time, our resources, and our very lives, by waiting …

What Are You Actively Pursuing?

unless we wake up and learn to recognize that gap. For we stop and think. We say WAIT a second, “What Am I Thinking?”

Unless we ask ourselves, “What am I doing?”

And “Why am I doing what I’m doing?”

For an even bigger truth is that we will never get out of the GAP Trap unless we make a decision that our Goals must be Actively Pursued.

As Lim explains, “The key to success and the key to achieving whatever goals you want to accomplish in your life is… You must “ACTIVELY” PURSUE your goals. The keyword here is ACTIVE.”

What Are Your Intentions?

Lim says that successful people like Jim Carry continuously “have the intention in their head. Richard Branson and Steve Jobs may not set goals, but they do keep the idea of what they want to achieve in their head, all the time.” He goes on to say, “And this is what I mean by active goal setting. You want to actively engage with your goals to achieve them.”

For successful people are always thinking about their goals. They are thinking and planning and plotting their next step. They are constantly visualizing their intentions in their head and ‘picturing what they will do to make their dreams become a reality. They are actively working on making their dreams a reality,

For as Lim explains, “Goal setting should be something active, and not passive.” He states that “Most people get the wrong idea by thinking that goal setting is an act of writing down what they want. Well, they may be right, goal setting IS the act of writing down what you want, but achieving your goals is a completely different activity.”

What Activities Do You Engage In?

For it’s the activities that you do that make the difference between being stuck in that gap and actually achieving your goals. And living your dream is all in what you DO.

It’s what you DO to Discover Oneself.

Successful people actively seek to Discover Oneself. They are striving every day to find out who they really are and what they really want. Instead of just sitting around waiting to be given a chance or settling for what they have, they think about what they want so bad and what they are willing to do to get it.

It’s what you Do to Develop Oneself.

To be successful, Lim explains you must actively “practice and train yourself to be the person that you desire to be. When you developed the right mindset and character, the result will come to you automatically.” He says, “the result will come. It has to, because you have changed, and things will be different.”

It’s what you DO by Daring Oneself to do.

Successful people are actively daring themselves to do better. Daring themselves to develop their skills. Hone their talents. Perfect their craft. They are actively and courageously moving toward their dreams and goals every day.

“So, learn to improve yourself, every single day.” states Lim.

The Little Things You’re Focused On

“It requires active work, my friend,” says Lim. “You can visualize driving your dream car, but if you are not actively doing something, guess what, you will never manifest your dream car into reality.”

“Success is the combination of many small things that we do every single day,” Lim explains further.

For success is all a matter of what you are focused on. Being FOCUSED means being Fixated On a Compelling Ultra-Specific Experience you Do Every day.. You must intentionally pursue what you want with intense determination. You must do something toward your goal with such strong determination you can, according to Napoleon Hill in Think And Grow Rich, “actually see it in your possession.”

For when you fill the Gap with Goals Actively Pursued plus the combination of vividly imagining what you want and then pursuing it whole-heartedly, with all your mental and physical faculties …

That Gap will soon contain Goals Achieved as your Prizes.

Stuck Or Sticky

Goals become a sticky, icky mess … until you learn to hold onto a goal in your mind and you stick to it. To avoid a messy life, you continuously stick to your dream, keep it in your thoughts, and do something to make it come true every single day. As Jim Rohn says, success is a matter of those little daily habits, things we do every day to make our dreams and goals a reality.

So when you’re tempted to goof off because nothing is happening in your life, say to yourself, ”WAIT a second. What am I Tending to? Am I tending to the things that will create the results I want? Am I working every day on something that is important, something that will make my goals a reality?”

Then change your mind and DO something … Do something that will create the Desired Outcome.

Aim everything you do in you in the direction of your goal. Make your goal a sticky joy instead of that mess. Only then will you achieve your goal … and get what you long for so much you are willing to do the work required.


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Kathy G Lynch

Kathy G. wants to show farmer's daughters how to become successful writers even in this highly competive world